so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It was confusing and full of hummus
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
