I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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