I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
