do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize