Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
