Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
