he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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