My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
