i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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