Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
