8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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