She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
