i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
