My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
