Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Little spoons don't ask big questions
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
