Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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