Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
