Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
