DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
