well you can't waste a boner
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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