Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
birth control should be required to get into college
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
