SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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