I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
