i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
