there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
