I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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