Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
