His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
