im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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