dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
