The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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