I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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