I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize