dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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