its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize