how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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