Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
