Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
they're like a gay fantastic four
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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