so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize