And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
