what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
