Having a random hookup so left but love u
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My vagina is officially offended.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize