Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
