Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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