Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
