Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
last night I used snow as a chaser
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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