she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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