Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
