I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
