actually, I'm a sock model
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize