OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
