Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
