lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
