I wish I only lived at night.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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