She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
