just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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