The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
