honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
