Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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