Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
