Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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