Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
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