next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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