its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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