I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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