Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
