I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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