He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
