i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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