yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
