pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I need a burrito and a hug.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
