we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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