need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
