I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
