Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
